I will be your calming goat.

I just watched Ferdinand with my kids and I just love the character of Lupe. She’s so fun and enthusiastic and a bit vulgar and I’m not going lie, I enjoy that. Being a city girl I didn’t realize that it is common practice to put goats in with the bulls and horses to keep them calm, and I has the realization that goats are basically doulas for expensive livestock. Keeping their anxiety at bay makes it easier to manage the prize race horses or fighting bulls. In pregnancy women quite rightly feel anxious and nervous about the birth to come and hiring a doula can help you feel better about your ability to handle labour.

calming goat

The statistics are clear – just the presence of a calm, confident third party in the birthing room decreases the use of medical interventions and improves satisfaction with the birthing experience, even if all they do is sit there.  What I bring to the birthing room is my belief that birth works. I bring my confidence that you can do this, like so many women have done before. I bring experience of other births, my own included, so I feel comfortable with your movements and vocalizations and nothing phases me. My surety that everything is going to be alright is contagious and it helps relax you and your partner so that you can concentrate on birthing your baby calmly and with confidence.

I will be your calming goat. Keep labouring on and you will get your prize – a beautiful baby.

Click here to book a free consultation.

 

 

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Five things to register for that no one will ever buy you.

5 things to register for

It’s a little known fact that many department stores will let you complete your registry at a discount, so go ahead and register for these five things that you will really need but that no one will want to buy for you.

#1 – A Squatty Potty – any step stool will do but this one is specifically designed to hug your toilet and when used it puts you into a perfect squat position. The toilet wasn’t really designed very well, and this little stool puts your body into a much better position for emptying your bowels. If you are suffering from constipation during your pregnancy this will really help stuff slide right out. Also, squatting frequently helps stretch and strengthen the pelvic floor, which will result in an easier childbirth. You can even use this when you are labouring at home to support you in a squat position and help the baby move down and out.

#2 – A donut pillow. Not a very glamorous gift but since even the most uneventful birth will result in some swelling and discomfort in your vagina, a donut pillow gives you somewhere to sit where you will not have to deal with any pressure on your delicate parts. Put an ice pack or a bag of frozen peas in the hollow and relax. These are also great in late pregnancy to take the pressure off your tailbone and pelvic floor and help you remember to sit up straight in your office chair.

#3 – Maxi-pads you can see from space. No one is going to buy you these, but if your department store has a drugstore section, why not? You will need these even if you have a C-section as it’s normal to bleed for several weeks after having a baby, and you can’t use tampons or a cup at this time (which for me, was the worse part of bleeding for several weeks). Always Maxi Overnight with wings get my vote. They are enormous but do the job well. Some women like to wear Poise or Depends in the first few days but personally I didn’t enjoy the feeling of wearing a diaper, and I found a product designed to absorb blood rather than urine just did a better job at handling the lochia. Register for a bottle of witch hazel too and prep some padsicles to enjoy in your first few days postpartum.

#4 – A sitz bath. This little insert for your toilet will be your best friend if you suffer from postpartum hemorrhoids. Fill it with warm water and Epsom salts and sit (well, squat since you have a squatty potty) with a magazine for a blissful ten minute break. Helps heal your perineum and gives you a well deserved time out. A good opportunity for your partner to figure out how to handle a new baby while you take care of yourself. Self-care is a vital part of surviving new parenthood, find little moments of solitude wherever you can.  Your days of using the bathroom alone are numbered.

#5 – A waterproof mattress pad. While most women don’t have their water break spectacularly like you see on TV, it does happen and you need to protect your mattress just in case. It’s more likely that you will leak milk or your newborn’s diaper will fail when you are lying in bed together. Register for that mattress pad- those suckers can be expensive but not as expensive as a new mattress.

Baby Ready can help you set up your registry with the things you really need. Contact us here for a free consultation!

Gift the gift of a doula!

Gift of doula

Some partners are concerned that having a doula will mean they will have no role in their baby’s birth. This is not true! A doula can help give you the confidence to be a fantastic supportive birth partner. Your doula can reassure you that your partner’s labour is progressing normally and help keep you both calm if it is not. Your doula can teach you comfort techniques that will your partner will come to depend on during her labour. You will be as involved as you want to be for the entire labour and delivery. And if you need to step out, you can feel confident that your partner is being taken care of in your absence. Give the gift of doula support – and get it for yourself too.

 

Don’t be a martyr, you’re a mother now!

It’s really hard, after a lifetime of pretending everything’s fine when it’s really not fine, to stand up and advocate for yourself. I understand that. Women are socialized from birth to be polite and nice and do as we’re told. I’m trying hard to raise my daughter to question this. I want my kid to ask questions, get the information she needs and do what she believes to be right without concerning herself with being nice, whatever that means. When we’re pregnant there’s a lot going on in our bodies that feels different and new and even strange, and you will have things come up that you need help understanding. If you feel like you’re bothering your obstetrician or midwife with your endless questions and concerns, then perhaps you have the wrong caregiver. Helping you understand what’s going on in your body and mind is their job. As your doula I can help answer some of your questions and concerns, but I am not a medical professional and I want you to go over my head and feel comfortable doing so – your doula, your doctor (or midwife) and your partner should work as a team and not get in each other’s way. Pregnancy is not an illness and while you may feel uncomfortable you shouldn’t be suffering. If you are in pain, if you feel sick all the time, if you spike a fever these are potentially signs of preterm labour and you must contact your caregiver right away.

Check my handy postcard size hand out for the warning signs that you should not ignore.

3rd Trimester Discomforts

Hire a doula to help you plan your pregnancy, birth and postpartum recovery!

 

click here to contact us!

This Doula’s on fire!

Sorry Folks I’m so friggin’ busy I haven’t had any time to blog. I’ve just come back from a doula collective meeting and I’m all fired up so let me fill you in on what I’ve been up to.

WORKchildcare-at-yoga-mamas-elaine

Yes, I’ve been leaving the house for paid employment, not just dreaming about it. I’m using my postpartum doula skills at Toronto Yoga Mamas where I will cuddle your baby so you can take care of you. Take a yoga class, get a massage, see a chiropractor or pelvic floor physiotherapist secure in the knowledge that your baby is in good hands. I will only bother you if your sweet babe is completely inconsolable – and I have a lot of baby whispering tricks up my sleeves. Also a high pain threshold when it comes to listening to babies crying. After all, crying is how baby communicates. If they are just saying “I miss Mommy” then they’re okay. Enjoy your shivasana. Ohm.

SCHOOL

This time last year I signed up to do my prenatal educator training at Douglas College. I’m about half way through the program and would be further if it wasn’t for WORK and FAMILY sucking up my time. I’m really looking forward to travelling to Coquitlam in the spring to do my teaching intensive. I didn’t realize that I would have to go to BC when I signed up to do the program online but I can’t say I’m feeling sad about it. Springtime in Vancouver? Yes please.

FAMILY

20170205_130752.jpg

 

 

Working as a postpartum doula allows me to be home for my children when they get home from school, most of the time. My children are getting very big and don’t need me so much anymore which allows me to spend time helping families with babies who are small and needy.  I’ve been working hard with my husband building his business and getting him ready to fly – now it’s my turn.

 

 

 

 

THE FUTURE

I’m so happy to announce that I’ve joined the newly born Doula Collective at Mums and Tums Canada. Mums and Tums are distributors of the Ontario Baby Box, modeled on the Finnish Baby Box that has been proven to lower infant death rates.  Finnish families have been putting their newborn babies to sleep in free cardboard sleeping boxes for 75 years and they boast one of the world’s lowest infant mortality rates. You can sign up for a baby box of your own here, and pick it up at Mums and Tums distribution centre. Oh, and if you are not in Ontario check out Baby Box University and see if they have a free program in your community. Thanks to the popularity of the Baby Box program Mums and Tums founder Heather Dolimont has big plans for the future of her company and I am thrilled to be in on the ground floor. Watch this space for more information!

This Doula’s on fire!

Sorry Folks I’m so friggin’ busy I haven’t had any time to blog. I’ve just come back from a doula collective meeting and I’m all fired up so let me fill you in on what I’ve been up to.

WORKchildcare-at-yoga-mamas-elaine

Yes, I’ve been leaving the house for paid employment, not just dreaming about it. I’m using my postpartum doula skills at Toronto Yoga Mamas where I will cuddle your baby so you can take care of you. Take a yoga class, get a massage, see a chiropractor or pelvic floor physiotherapist secure in the knowledge that your baby is in good hands. I will only bother you if your sweet babe is completely inconsolable – and I have a lot of baby whispering tricks up my sleeves. Also a high pain threshold when it comes to listening to babies crying. After all, crying is how baby communicates. If they are just saying “I miss Mommy” then they’re okay. Enjoy your shivasana. Ohm.

SCHOOL

This time last year I signed up to do my prenatal educator training at Douglas College. I’m about half way through the program and would be further if it wasn’t for WORK and FAMILY sucking up my time. I’m really looking forward to travelling to Coquitlam in the spring to do my teaching intensive. I didn’t realize that I would have to go to BC when I signed up to do the program online but I can’t say I’m feeling sad about it. Springtime in Vancouver? Yes please.

FAMILY

20170205_130752.jpg

 

 

Working as a postpartum doula allows me to be home for my children when they get home from school, most of the time. My children are getting very big and don’t need me so much anymore which allows me to spend time helping families with babies who are small and needy.  I’ve been working hard with my husband building his business and getting him ready to fly – now it’s my turn.

 

 

 

 

THE FUTURE

I’m so happy to announce that I’ve joined the newly born Doula Collective at Mums and Tums Canada. Mums and Tums are distributors of the Ontario Baby Box, modeled on the Finnish Baby Box that has been proven to lower infant death rates.  Finnish families have been putting their newborn babies to sleep in free cardboard sleeping boxes for 75 years and they boast one of the world’s lowest infant mortality rates. You can sign up for a baby box of your own here, and pick it up at Mums and Tums distribution centre. Oh, and if you are not in Ontario check out Baby Box University and see if they have a free program in your community. Thanks to the popularity of the Baby Box program Mums and Tums founder Heather Dolimont has big plans for the future of her company and I am thrilled to be in on the ground floor. Watch this space for more information!

The Uncomfortable Feminist

 

I am a birth worker,

arguably the most woman-centric job on the planet. I work with women at their most vulnerable, most powerful, most female. Giving life is something only we can do. It is beyond awesome. And yet, women in childbirth are subjected to disrespect, abuse, and downright misogyny on a daily basis. I am confused by the number of hospital staff I have encountered on the maternity floor who do not seem to like working with women. Perhaps a career move should be considered?

As a doula it is my job to support my client. It is not my job to speak for my client, and sometimes I have to sit and listen and hold my tongue while others try to knock my client down. As a doula I have no power, but I try to make my client feel powerful, powerful enough to stand their ground and say “I’m doing this my way” when faced with pressure from those who feel the need to run the show. Sometimes I feel very uncomfortable.

As a doula I am a witness to a lot of underhanded stuff.

As a feminist I want to scream. “Don’t talk to her that way!” “She is an adult not a child!” “You are her doctor not her boss!” I want to say, “He’s not right.” “He doesn’t have the right” “She’s impatient; her agenda is not the same as yours.” I want to say “a healthy baby is not the only important thing. “  I will be misunderstood. A healthy baby is important -but what about a happy and healthy mother? What about an empowering birth experience?

What about respecting the woman as well as the child?

I am a birth worker, and a feminist.  But I rely on my husband’s income to support our family. If giving birth is not respected, how can I expect birth work to be respected either? I believe in the work I do, but my belief doesn’t put much food on our table.  I am told to charge what I’m worth, but if the birth experience is not respected, the worth of a doula is not clear.

I am a doula and a feminist.

I love my work. I do it because I believe choice in childbirth is a feminist issue. I never wanted to be political, but I will fight for this. We were all born. How can we not respect the one thing that we all have in common?

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