So it was my birthday yesterday. I am 48, and I took myself out to buy new boots. I told the clerk they were my birthday present to me, he asked my age and complimented me by saying I didn’t look 48. I’m thinking, ‘but this is what 48 looks like.’ Today I strapped on my new boots, grabbed my home made sign and took my kids to a rally. This is what 48 looks like. I’m making my voice heard . I’m writing letters. I’m marching in protest. I’m fed up with making nice when no one else seems to be. I’m disillusioned by politicians and I feel it in the air, we all are.
My new boots are ass kickin’ boots. Watch out.
I am a birth worker,
arguably the most woman-centric job on the planet. I work with women at their most vulnerable, most powerful, most female. Giving life is something only we can do. It is beyond awesome. And yet, women in childbirth are subjected to disrespect, abuse, and downright misogyny on a daily basis. I am confused by the number of hospital staff I have encountered on the maternity floor who do not seem to like working with women. Perhaps a career move should be considered?
As a doula it is my job to support my client. It is not my job to speak for my client, and sometimes I have to sit and listen and hold my tongue while others try to knock my client down. As a doula I have no power, but I try to make my client feel powerful, powerful enough to stand their ground and say “I’m doing this my way” when faced with pressure from those who feel the need to run the show. Sometimes I feel very uncomfortable.
As a doula I am a witness to a lot of underhanded stuff.
As a feminist I want to scream. “Don’t talk to her that way!” “She is an adult not a child!” “You are her doctor not her boss!” I want to say, “He’s not right.” “He doesn’t have the right” “She’s impatient; her agenda is not the same as yours.” I want to say “a healthy baby is not the only important thing. “ I will be misunderstood. A healthy baby is important -but what about a happy and healthy mother? What about an empowering birth experience?
What about respecting the woman as well as the child?
I am a birth worker, and a feminist. But I rely on my husband’s income to support our family. If giving birth is not respected, how can I expect birth work to be respected either? I believe in the work I do, but my belief doesn’t put much food on our table. I am told to charge what I’m worth, but if the birth experience is not respected, the worth of a doula is not clear.
I am a doula and a feminist.
I love my work. I do it because I believe choice in childbirth is a feminist issue. I never wanted to be political, but I will fight for this. We were all born. How can we not respect the one thing that we all have in common?